The new order
by Mexwojo
Summary: Jordan and Woody are now together after their trip to Africa, before their wedding. The death of a young mother brings angsty memories that neither of them wants to face.
1. Chapter 1

Title: **The new order**

Episode: **Two** **boys, one girl then. Four boys, two girls now.**

Chapter One: **One** **Sunday in the new order**

Rating: T, because murder is not a nice thing, but also for some suggestive scenes (those are nice). Nothing explicit; if you're waiting for something like that, go to another author.

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing: neither the characters from Crossing Jordan nor the crime I'm borrowing from the pages of the Boston Globe (but, you know, names and places are changed for safe purpose).

Summary: Jordan and Woody are now together after their trip to Africa, before their wedding. The death of a young mother brings angsty memories that neither of them wants to face.

Author's note: This story is going to develop after VS7, and it will be in that canon. I would like to think of it as of a VS8 plot. As always, reviews are much appreciated.

Acknowledgements: I want to thank **Amelia Bianca Black** for her corrections to my script. Without her kind suggestions I wouldn't be able to post this story. Thank you Amélie.

* * *

**One Sunday in the new order**

This is one chilly winter morning in Boston. A timid ray of sunshine is passing trough the window and reflecting from the crystal wall. "She's not there", that's the only coherent thought that he can have this early. She's not there and her side of the bed is cold, but her perfume is lingering trough the quiet room.

Suddenly, the phone rings.

-_Mmhhh_- he struggles to reach the damn thing while it rings twice more.

-_Hoyt_- comes out as a grunt

_-Hey, you're not up yet?-_

- Where are you? -

_- I told you yesterday I had to get to work early. The tests I had to prepare, remember?-_

_- O yeah… yes. - _he tries to focus now_- Well, so much for breakfast in bed…-_

_- What? You wanted breakfast in…-_

_- No, Jo, I mean, for you. You didn't give me much of a chance. I was hoping to have you for myself just for once this wee_k…-

- _Oh, don't worry, I will finish soon. I just called to ask you if you wanted something from Cherry's._ - He thinks for a moment.

-_ Well, it would be great if you bring an apple pie? I mean, you're already there. -_

_- Don't feel guilty for not being the one bringing the food this time, I'm not disabled, you know?-_

_- You always remind me of that, but I tell you that I'm more comfortable…-_

_- Yes, you being the provider and all. Well, you've got to learn someday that you pursued one of those women that don't like being overprotected, OK? So apple pie it is. See you later Woods-_

_-Bye-_

* * *

_- Why are you here, love, this is too early on Sunday for a pregnant woman to be working-_

_- I know, I know, as I just told Woody, I have to prepare some samples, and then I'm out of here _– She dismisses Nigel waving her hand, but he ignores the gesture.

- _Oh, by the way, how is dear Woodrow handling this new you _– he approaches and gently touches her stomach.

_- Well, you know him, there's nothing I can do, just keep protesting and asking for no intervention in my inner space –_

_- He's driving you crazy, isn't he?-_

_- Yeah… yet, he is rather sweet, I can cope with …-_

_- I see_ – he is thoughtful for a moment, and then he turns to leave.

-_ Don't keep working too long, so Woody won't come in frantic search for you, love… Ahhh_- he turns again to face her, pointing at her belly - _and get some food for that little alien in you, you look so thin…-_ he catches a file that comes flying by. – _Whoa! I'm out of here_ – and, in a second, he is in the hallway, looking for the exit.

Jordan shakes her head in amusement and continues with her work. "What is with these men? Yeah, there was a time when she wasn't able to keep a plant alive, but she is a doctor, and a damn fine one. People change… or they don't, they just consider life in a new light and come to terms with their priorities."

* * *

-_ Honey, I'm home _– comes out in a joking tone while she is opening the door.

- _Oh, let me help you_- and there he is – all over her, taking her bags, scarf and coat and making a mess of it all.

_- Don't do that!_ – she is frustrated now- _I can do it by myself-_

_- I know _– that is all he can say while trying to put the whole thing on the couch without dropping it all on the floor.

- _Oh, come on_- she waits until everything is under control-_ I brought you apple pie, I think I deserve a kiss and not this tornado Woods-_ She pulls him to her and kisses him soundly. That desperate need of his to lighten her life is indeed driving her crazy, but it is so Woody-like that it is adorable.

-_ Mmmhh_- he gently hugs her and takes her mouth again- _Are you done with work now?_-

-_ Ye…_- another kiss silences her answer

- _Good, 'cause I'm not planning to let you leave again, the bed is too cold…-_

_- Is it?-_

_- Uhhuum_- and he conducts her to the place in question to prove his point, the plans of breakfast and apple pies suddenly forgotten.

--Opening credits, and music--

* * *

Later that day, in one more domestic scene, Woody is sprawled on the couch, in a heated phone conversation with someone who is not Jordan. She is now cooking something and cleaning the kitchen counter.

Jordan is watching at Woody and is all ears. It's obvious that this talk is the one from which she doesn't want to miss a thing. But when he hangs up, she acts as if nothing is happening although she's been distracted.

_- I thought you were bringing me breakfast to bed. You know? I'm the one who should be resting on the couch-_

_- Well, Jo, I did my effort this mornin_g- He is looking intensely at her –_ but you didn't let me, so…-_

_- I'm too damn independent for my own good_- She finishes her thing and go to sit by his side. He puts an arm around her shoulders and lovingly pulls her closer.

_- Are you OK? _– he asks before he kisses her forehead – _you need to rest? I mean, a while ago you weren't complaining._

- _And I am not_.- She's caressing his free hand with her fingers and abruptly looks up to face him-_ You know… you have the most amazing blue eyes that I've seen. I hope that our child has your eyes…- _He is now a little embarrassed, this is not what he expected.

- Well, Jordan, if our child has your eyes, it would be much better. I have a hunch that we're having a girl.-

_- Yeah? Well, it's too early to know, so don't keep your expectations too high 'cause if it turns to be a boy, you will have to return the tutu and the ballerina shoes_.- After a moment of silence, she asks the question the answer to which she dreads.

_- What did Seely say? _- He sighs and collects himself.

_- Mmmh, they're gonna open an investigation for corruption and connection to organized crime, but he thinks it's gonna be pretty lousy there 'cause every cop involved is dead but Max. Besides, Conroy is missing. They think he's left someone in his position and now he's enjoying some Caribbean beach_. – She narrows her eyes but her expression gradually changes to a less distressed one.

_- Is that it? No evidence but a damaged tape and what he is willing to say?-_

_-Pretty much, yeah_- Out of the blue, she stands up and ruffles his hair.

_- Come on, let's eat. This little alien, as Nige named him, is very hungry. –_

_- Alien? My little girl? How dare he?-_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: **Anger control issues reloaded**

This is one tiny apartment near Codman Square. There is chaos everywhere. Uniformed cops and civilians surround the confined area. Two little boys are crying on a couch. Two more boys, slightly older than the first ones, are very quietly standing with a woman near the entrance door. Somebody is taking pictures in the small kitchen, where the events which led to this gathering may have taken place. The afternoon sun is coming through the window and illuminates the scene in an almost surreal way. A woman is lying on the floor, blood far and wide in sight. A girl, around ten, is standing in a corner with a man that is trying to comfort her. Woody enters the kitchen and stands in front of the woman. His jaw is tight and there is anger in his eyes. One would think that after many gruesome deaths he has seen as a police officer, he is used to be in situations like this… but he is not. How could he be? There are children all over the place and a young mother is lying still, lifeless, in a dark red pool on the floor.

_- What is she doing here?_ – Woody questions, pointing at the girl –_ Take her outside –_ he says to the man by her side. The man tries to lead the girl to the exit, as he's been told, but the girl doesn't want to leave, so he has to push her with a little force, while she's resisting to walk.

_- Nigel, why did you let this girl watch her mother all this time?_ – says Woody to the man that is taking pictures. His anger is growing by the sec_ond._

_- Why, mate? I'm not the police; I can't do anything like tha_t- replies his friend, hurt in his voice.

-_ Who's the responding ME?_ - asks Woody, trying to control himself. He has a history of anger control issues, and this time is not an easy one.

-_ Oh, you don't want to know-_ says Nigel, a little alarmed and throwing a glance at the door-_ your answer is just arriving_.-

_- Jordan? What are you doing here?_ - Now the anger is out of control, his voice is loud and forceful.

_- Calm down, OK? I was the only one available at the Morgue, Bug called in sick, for the first time in his entire career, I think; and Kate is stuck with a new intern. It hasn't been the same since Garret resigne_d…- Jordan is thoughtful and calm for a moment, which is rather odd since Woody's attitude is very unnerving, but that doesn't last long.

_- This is not a case you should be working…_- Woody tenses his jaws even more, if that is possible.

_- What?! Why is this a case I shouldn't be working on? And, most importantly, who do you think you are, telling me which case I should and which case I shouldn't work on_?- Now, Jordan's anger is even with Woody's, and Nigel is looking from one to another like in a tennis match, not a little alarmed, but frightened by the situation. He would rather be anywhere else but here.

_- Uhhh, kids… Calm down, both of you. You're drawing everybody's attention and I don't think those little kids over there could stand more violence… please?_ - Says Nigel, pointing at the crying boys on the couch that is behind the kitchen door. Both Jordan and Woody are taken aback by the observation and are looking at the children, the realization of the inappropriateness of their behavior sinking in. Being a couple at home is not the same as being one at work, and this kind of things has to be avoided by all means.

_- OK, OK… We'll discuss this later…_- Woody is the first to speak, in a softer way but with determination in his voice.

"There's nothing to be discussed," thinks Jordan, not allowing this thought to be voiced, "this is my work and you have nothing to say, this is not one of those cop – coroner situations. This is indeed my work." Jordan crouches by the woman and, acting as if nothing happened, proceeds to her examination. Nigel's back to taking pictures and Woody leaves, looking for the girl.

* * *

_- Why, Jordan, do you have to make my work more difficult than it already is_? - Woody is frustrated and combs his hair with his fingers once and again.

_- I'm not doing anything like that. I told you I'm all right with this case. It does hit too close to home but I've learned to manage this kind of things. You, on the other hand._..- Jordan is calm, in her autopsy custom, absorbed in her work. –_ Now, if you would leave me to do my work, I could be able to tell you all you want to know about Miranda Jaime's death._ – Jordan looks up to examine Woody's reaction, but all she can tell is that tension is all over his body. Since he doesn't reply, she continues her speech. – _The first thing to know is that it seems the knife wound in her chest was the COD… We should know more about the knife when Nigel finishes the tests on it. If we are lucky, the bastard that did this to Miranda left some evidence on it… It may have taken half an hour for her to bleed to death. Considering all the blood on the floor… that little girl couldn't do a thing to save her…_

_- That's exactly my point, Jo. You say you're all right with this and all, but next thing to happen is you in a crusade for this girl. Not sleeping, not eating, I know the symptoms… It couldn't do any good to our child…_- Now Jordan is beginning to lose her temper. Suddenly, the autopsy doors swing and Kate enters the room. She looks at Woody in a not so pleasant way.

_- Detective, I seem to remember that I said to you that Jordan is the ME assigned to this case and that it is not your jurisdiction, but mine. So, if you don't mind, could you leave her to do her work, meanwhile you do whatever you cops do?_ – Woody is on edge and, a little too forcefully, turns to leave, looking at both women, daggers coming from his eyes. 'Overreacting' is a mild way to describe his attitude.

_- Thanks, Kate, I don't know if I would have been able to stand him one more minute. _– Jordan relaxes and shakes her head.

_- Well, Jordan, if you want __me to keep supporting __you on this, you have to fix this situation with Woody at home. These kinds of things are very dangerous and that is why couples wouldn't be allowed to work together…-_

_- What? I thought you, of all people, would understand…-_

_- And I do, that's why I'm here, holding Woody's tantrums; but this can't keep going like this.-_

_- I know, I know. I'll fix it, I promis_e. - Jordan reassures. "The only thing is, I don't know how". That's a thought Kate would not want to be aware of.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three: **And what about the case?**

Woody comes to the lab, not bothering with a greeting. - _The whole neighborhood is in this together, I'm telling you, Nigel… Nobody saw anything, nobody heard anything but the usual yelling of a couple and a bunch of kids crying. But nothing **out of the ordinary,** as they pointed out. How is that possible? Men coming and leaving the apartment, the pitch remaining almost the same the entire time. Three of them, at different times, from what I could get out of them._ -

_- And the girl? Did she saw anything?_ - Nigel is not in the least worried about his non-greeting friend, he's just too used to it.

_- Well, it seems that Alissa, Miranda's daughter, witnessed the whole event, but she doesn't want to say a thing about it. And that is not a pleasant fact, you know? The social worker, a Mr. Jones_, -he points out- _is with her now, and he doesn't want me anywhere near the girl…_- He is telling all this matter-of-factly, but it's obvious that he is concerned. - _What did you find on the knife? _- He's struggling to get his act together, but after discussing with Jordan a minute ago, he's having problems with that.

_- Well, Woodrow, no wonder that you're not allowed to be near the children. You have to cool your temper, mate. _- Nigel regrets his words the instant they come out of his mouth. Woody is now like a volcano bound to explode.

-_ Oh, really? … And WHAT ABOUT THE KNIFE?_.. _**mate**._- Exploding indeed.

_- Oookay , let's see. I found some fingerprints on it. One pair belongs to the mother and other ones I'm trying to identify. Already running them through the base. The blood comes from Miranda, and beside that I have nothing much. The tox screen came out clean, and… she was pregnant_.-

_- What?! Another child? She already left six kids without a mother… six! And a myriad of fathers! I can't find them all! What was with this woman? She was only twenty-nine, you know? How can you leave so many children without a mother_? - Lava coming out instead of words.

_- Who are you angry at? The victim or the murderer? –_

_- Well, the killer, of course, no questions asked.-_

_- One can only tell… -_

_- What?-_

_- Nothing, nothing__… **mate**.-_

* * *

_- Dr. Cavanaugh, this situation is pretty compromised. I already told Detective Hoyt he's not allowed to talk to the children yet. They are in a shock and we split them into pairs. We can't have them all together. You know?_ – Mr. Jones, the same one who was with Alissa at the crime scene, is trying to explain while they walk rather fast along a hallway. With people coming from all directions, Jordan is finding too difficult to keep pace.

_- I know the circumstances are quite delicate, but the only thing I'm asking for is to see Alissa just for a moment and find out if she can tell us something, not reliving the whole thing, but something… that we can use_…- Jordan keeps colliding with people along the way, but that doesn't stop her- _I'm a doctor and a woman, and soon I'll be a mother, too. I think I can handle her without further compromising the state of affairs… Besides, you won't be able to give the children to their fathers if we don't know whether one of them is a murderer. They are our principal suspects, but as far as we know, there are four of them…- _Mr. Jones, stops without a warning, making Jordan bump into him.

_- You've got just five minutes, and I'm witnessing the meeting, OK?-_

_-OK, that's all I'm asking for, Mr. Jones…-_

_- Come with me then, I'm already on my way to check on Alissa and Luisa, her sister, from the same father I think.-_

* * *

_- Alissa? This is Dr. Cavanaugh; she's trying to help you, dear… She wants to know if you saw something that can help to catch the one who… who hurt your mother, baby_.- This time, the one to speak is a lady, a real nice one, middle-aged, motherly attitude. Alissa is sitting in a chair in a little room, which appears to be the lounge of a modest, nice house. Jordan and Mr. Jones are sitting in similar chairs, opposite the girl.

_- I don't want to say anything, Mrs. Riddle. I don't_…- Alissa is frightened and reluctant to talk. She keeps glancing to the window, from where you can see a little garden and a play yard, and another girl who resembles Alissa a lot_,_ but she is a little younger and has light brown hair, contrasting the almost black of hers.

_- Is that your sister, sweetie? _– Jordan is pointing to the girl in the yard. – _She's really beautiful, and you two are very much alike, you know?-_

_- Mhm?_ – Now she's a little bit less afraid although she's not talking yet.

_- I would have loved a sister when I was your age, you know? It would have been better to be with someone who would understand me. I was only ten when somebody killed my mother… that is the most awful thing that has ever happened to me… _- The girl is really interested in what Jordan is saying, and looks at her with eyes open wide. - _All my life I was afraid of sharing this feeling with other people because I thought nobody would be able to understand. But, you know what? I was wrong. You have to trust other people; you can be surprised how often they share the same fears. They understand and they can help you. _- Jordan is talking in a warm, sad voice, and she seems to be absorbed in a memory, her eyes full of tears that are threatening to find their way out. She holds them back and waits for Alissa to answer.

_- I saw everything…_ - she finally says, in a very small voice that you had to be very quiet to hear.

_- Yes, dear? And what was it?_ – asks Jordan

_- I saw him stab my mom_…- she cries and Mrs. Riddle embraces her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Almélie**, you know you are the best girl. I really appreciate your time and dedication, you know I wouldn't be doing this if it not were for you.

**Lori**, I hope you find this format better to read. Thank you **BugFan4Ever** for your review.

* * *

Chapter four: **Here comes the flood**.

- _There's a woman looking for you, Hoyt_. - Yells Seely in front of the door of Woody's office, not bothering to open it. He's in a rush, and doesn't wait for the other detective to answer. Woody stands and is about to open the door, when there is a knock.

_- I'm looking for Detective Hoyt_. - Says a young woman as she pops her head trough the open door.

- _Come on in, Ms_._…_ - he waits for the woman to introduce herself.

- _Katlin, Katlin Jerkins_. - He shows her a chair, beckoning her to sit. Then he sits in his own chair.

-_And what is this about, Ms. Jerkins_? - She is nervous. She combs her long dark hair with her right hand and finally speaks.

_- I'm__ Miranda Jaime's cousin. I'm here to… to talk about who might have killed her…-_ Woody is fully alert and waits again for her to speak, but she is afraid, so he asks:

-_And how do you know who might have killed her Ms. Jerkins? –_

-_Well, yesterday, before I went to work, she… she phoned me and… and she was really scared. She said … said that Raymond wanted to see her… You see, Raymond was her boyfriend… Danny and Carl are his children… They lived together almost five years…-_ She struggles to find the right words to describe the situation, so there are long moments of silence. Suddenly, she starts to sob. Woody stands and approaches her.

-_Would you like a glass of water, Ms. Jerkins?_ – He asks with concern in his voice. She only nods, so he leaves for a minute and returns with the water. She takes it; she is then a little bit comforted and continues her statement.

_- Raymond is abusive… Miranda loved him very much but he is sick, you know__… When they lived together they were always in hospital because of a broken arm, concussions, a broken leg… he beat them all… Miranda, Alissa, Lui… -_ she's sobbing again, but continues nonetheless – _Luisa, George and Juan. And his own children_. – more tears- _Carl's had a limp since he broke his leg_._… She couldn't stand it anymore, so she told him to leave… but he was mad at her. He said that he loved her, and his children… even her children too. - _She pulls a Kleenex out of her bag and dries her eyes - _How could it be? He used them as a punching bag! And he went to see them yesterday; she told me he was… He wanted her back and he was going to get her back…-_ She is completely distressed. Woody stands and smoothly touches her back, in a reassuring way.

-_ If he did it, I promise we'll get him convicted, Ms. Jenkins. I'll do anything that's in my power to do so. _

* * *

_- Hey, Nigel. I'm on my way to question Raymond Harris. Did you find out who the fingerprints __belong to?_ – Woody talks on his cell while he walks the precinct hallway.

_- No?_ – He frowns and rubs his neck with his free hand.

_- Nothing __in the base?_ – He waits for an answer on the other end.

_- Could you __check if this Raymond Harris matches the fingerprints_? - Another pause. He arrives to the parking lot.

_- Thanks… Ah, Nigel… Is Jordan still there_? - He opens his car door.

- _Did she say where she was going?_ - He enters the car.

_- How come I don't want to know?_ – He just waits.

_- She went where? …Alis… __shit_! - He shuts the cell and turns on the engine.

* * *

­­­­­­­­

Woody enters a not very likable building on Dorchester Ave., near Fields Corner. This is not the finest neighborhood in Boston. He climbs the stairs up to the third floor, approaches one of the apartments and knocks. There's some noise in there but nobody opens the door, so he knocks again, louder this time. He doesn't have a warrant, he's there only to question the suspect, so he must stay calm. Finally, some giant blond guy comes out.

- _Mr. Raymond Harris?_ – Asks Woody in cop mode.

_- Who wants to know? –_ retorts the man, some other than Woody would be scared.

- _Detective Hoyt, from the BPD sir.- _and he shows his badge.- _I'm here to ask you some questions about Miranda Jaime. I understand that you and she lived together…-_ Woody expects the guy to let him into the apartment, but that doesn't happen. On the contrary, the man lets himself out of it and closes the door.

_- Yes, d__etective, what do you want to know?_ – not friendly, but less menacing than before.

_- Well, sir, she was killed yesterday… I wonder if you know something about it?_ – Suddenly, the man changes his attitude and appears to be suffocating. He rests a hand on the wall, as to keep himself from falling. Woody is puzzled, "Didn't he know? Or he's one too damn good actor", he is not sure which is true.

_- What?...How?..._ – Raymond is speechless for a moment.

- _Excuse me sir, I thought you would have known by now… Could we talk inside your home?_ - And not waiting for an answer, Woody manages to get past the man and comes into the apartment. Raymond recovers from the impact, or so it seems, and follows the detective. He finally shuts the door and stands in front of the other man.

- _What happened?_ – Utters Raymond. Woody inspects the surroundings, they're grimy, things thrown all over the place, dirty dishes on the kitchen counter… and a shirt with blood on the sleeve discarded on the couch. "Shit, I don't have a warrant!"

_- She was stabbed in her __apartment's kitchen, some time between ten and eleven yesterday morning. I know you visited her yesterday morning, too_…- he throws a questioning look to the blond man, who begins to lose the act.

_- I don't know anything about it! Who told you I was there yesterday? Alissa?... That little rat_…- The menacing man resurfaces and Woody blinks.

_- Mr. Harris, were you yesterday morning at Mrs. Jaime's apartment_?- Woody's voice is firm but if you know him well, you can tell that something is not in place.

_-I didn't do it!_ - Yells Raymond, hitting a fist on the table.

_- Could you care to tell me where this blood came from Mr. Harris? -_ Woody points to the shirt.

_- Oh! You want to know! Well, I won't say anything without a lawyer. I didn't do anything to Miranda!_ - Raymond is now like a cage animal, fuming and confronting the detective- _and I want my children with me! Carl and Danny are my sons and I'm getting them with me! -_ He shouts with rage. Woody stretches his neck from side to side, trying to diminish the tension in his muscles.

_- I__'m warning you Mr. Harris, The children are under Social Services protection, you're not allowed to be near them until we establish that you had nothing to do with Miranda Jaime's death. In the mean time, I will request you to go to the station and give your statement._ - Woody walks quickly to the door, pointing at the man in an intimidating way. He leaves and closes the door. Then, he lets his back rest against the opposite wall, distressed and about to break. He takes a handkerchief from his coat pocket and dries his forehead. Disturbing, this was not one scary visit, yet… He takes a special tape from his other coat pocket, lifts a palm print of Raymond's off the entrance wall, and leaves in a hurry.

* * *

_-Tell me__, Jordan, are you having fun? 'Cause you knew I wasn't allowed to speak to the girl and you went to visit her anyway_. - Woody enters Jordan's office in a hustle, casting an outraged gaze to where she stands.

_-__ It wasn't anything like that… Believe me, Woody, I told you I could manage this case and I can…- _She looks up with a remorseful face

_- __Can you really? How come I learned where you were from Nigel? If you're not having issues again, then why didn't you tell me? Where's your honesty, your trust in me? – _He says furiously, but wrestles to remain calm _- I thought last night we agreed to take this easy, and that you were going to confide in me. -_ He reproaches.

_- Last night, you were the only one talking__, Woods, the only thing you heard from me was promising you that I could manage the case… But you're right, I didn't tell you… not because I don't trust you, but… like you said… you're not allowed near the girl and if I had told you, you would have wanted to come with me and we wouldn't have gotten_ _anything…-_ She stands and approaches him.

_-__Uh-uh… and you're gonna tell me you got something…-_ He's facing her, intending to decipher her reply, his bright blue eyes open wide.

_- Yeah…-_ She endures his stare with a tender glance.

_- And? _– He waves his hands, beckoning her to answer fast.

_- Alissa saw a man stab her mom. -_ She replies in sad manner.

_- A man… and who this man could be? –_ He is impatient and adopts a posture of defiance.

_- She could only tell me his name… Damian. –_ She gradually changes her stance, losing the caring mode.

_- __Uh-uh, Damian? And who is Damian? One of the fathers? 'Cause I checked them out and none is named Damian. -_ He becomes more annoyed by the second.

_- Not one of them, I think he was h__er new boyfriend, from what I was able to get from Alissa, and I believe he is the one she was pregnant with._- Her face is neutral, as is her voice.

_- Mmmhh, so… this Damian…__ Miranda's new boyfriend… stabbed her in front of her daughter?... The same day that Raymond went to see her? The abusive one?.. And the one who killed Miranda is this Damian?... Why? It doesn't make any sense… Are you sure Alissa is telling the truth? 'Cause she might be scared of Raymond, he used to beat them pretty bad… Isn't she making this Damian up?_ – He blurts out as he paces in front of her.

_- I can feel she's telling me the truth, Woody. I can__...- _She's kind of desperate because of his attitude.

_- Well, I can't feel anything, but I __can disclose you that Raymond is our most solid suspect. I went to visit him today and he fits the murderer's profile. I got some fingerprints and Nigel is comparing them with the ones from the knife. Unless you don't have any solid evidence, for me this Damian guy is just an invention of a troubled, very disturbed little girl's mind. -_ Woody sets his intolerant point of view. He has just said the very wrong words, and he hasn't noticed a thing

_- You want evidence?!-_ Now she loses it. "A troubled-and-disturbed little girl's mind? Who does he think he is to judge her like that?" These thoughts were boiling in her mind.

_- Oh, not just __I, Jordan, the DA would want evidence too! –_ Louder than he intended.

_- I know that! __–_ She yells.

_- So, why do you ask!_ – He is even louder than her_._

_- Never mind… you, me, __the DA want evidence, so, I'm gonna do some test on the fetus and find out if it's from that Raymond or some other guy we don't know about…and… and … if it turns to be the latter… would you consider… just consider the idea of this Damian's existence in real life? -_ Jordan tries to slow down and utters her words in a softer way.

_- You do that! I'm too tired for this! I'm going home! -_ He leaves and slams the door shut.


	5. Chapter 5

Death has set his mark and seal

On all we are and all we feel,

On all we know and all we fear,

**Death, 2. by P.B. Shelley**

Chapter five: **Let's pretend**

There he is, sprawled on the couch, again. The TV is on, some sports on the screen. A bottle of beer in his hand, the shoes on the floor. "A small moment to relax" he thinks. Then he hears a key turning in the lock. His heart jumps a little in anticipation. Here she comes, the time is up.

-_Honey, I'm home_. – comes her lovely voice in a mocking tone. "Why does she do that all over again?" He's not in the mood, but his soul is longing to hear her no matter the humor.

-_Mmmh… Hey_. - is his only response while he waves his beer in a greeting gesture. Nothing more.

She approaches the man, looking intensely at his attractive face. No signs. "The game is just too good". That or he is avoiding her, running from her in that tiny space. She gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and leaves to the bedroom. Those are the play rules that have been set. No signs.

Later that night, they are on their sides of the bed. Tension floods the atmosphere, but no words are voiced. They pretend to be in restful sleep, but it's just a pretense. No signs.

* * *

"_That__ woman is again lying on the bed. So pale that it is almost scary_._ So beautiful that she is like one of the angels painted on the_

_ ceiling of a church. When she opens her eyes, the surroundings are brighter… and warmer. But she´s almost constantly with her_

_ eyes closed. The freezing air is coming trough his nose. He can feel it in his throat, in his lungs and in his skin. He shudders. That_

_ woman is now gone, and he wishes she could have been here just a little more. When she is here he's almost frightened, but _

_when she's gone he's lost. He keeps falling into an unfathomable abyss. There's no ending, just the freezing wind…"_

* * *

- _Woody, wake up, wake up._ - Jordan shakes Woody's body and he jerks awake and sits, shocked, covered in cold sweat.

- _What?!_ – His face is transfigured with fear and he has trouble to understand where he is.

- _It's OK, Woods, calm down, that was just a nightmare._ - Jordan is distressed and keeps rubbing his back.

- _I'm OK, I'm OK. -_ He relaxes a little his tight face. After a moment of silence, Jordan stands from the bed.

- _I'll bring you some water…-_ She says and leaves to the kitchen.

- _Wait… I don't need it, really…- _Woody reassures

- _Oh the hell you don't –_

_- No, you don't have to go, I'll go…-_

-_What's up with you, Woody? It's only water. I can tell you need it and I'm already here._ – She's filling a glass with the liquid discussed, when she feels Woody standing at her back. She turns and gives the glass to him. They are in the darkness, and there is this strange discomfort, this tension that is threatening to grow.

He pulls her to him, the water dismissed; he searches for her mouth, exploring her with desire. It seems like ages, the tension flowing trough their bodies, like electricity. There is silence and gloom… this request of the souls and this desperate need for each other.

* * *

They there are in bed again, naked, exhausted and drained. He's holding her with one arm, both smiling faces up to the ceiling.

- _Are you OK now?_ – asks Jordan, lifting her face to him.

- _Oh yes, I am.-_

- _Are you gonna tell me what that was about? –_ They both know what she is referring to.

- _It was nothing. One silly dream where I'm falling and the fall never ends.-_

- _Oh, it was something… you scared me to death.-_

- _Maybe, but I don't want to discuss it.-_

There is silence instead of an answer. She closes her eyes and although she is concerned because of Woody's anguish, she finds it too difficult to stay awake. She nestles closer to his chest and falls asleep.

Woody, on the other hand, is fully alert. He struggles in his mind with a million of thoughts: "The nightmare, what does it mean? It's not the first time for this woman to appear in my dreams, or the feeling of the freezing wind, yet… What should I do with Jordan? It appears that she's holding all right, she went to Alissa's, and no trouble involved, very strange… What about the children? Those little motherless boys, too way to young, almost like…" And there it is again, his heart keeps bumping out of control. He forces himself to forget, he needs to rest, "let's pretend there is not such a pain…"

* * *

_-Decaf for you, h__oney-_ The smell of freshly made coffee brings Jordan to wake up. Woody offers her a mug with the liquid, and a toast.

- _Don't you honey me, OK? -_ Jordan pats playfully his arm_. - What is this? Are you finally bringing me breakfast to bed? –_

_- A peace offer?_ – He gives her his most handsome smile, the one that she finds impossible to resist.

_- W__hy, of course. -_ And she kisses him lovely and sweet.

_- This is only the first plate; I already made you an omelet__, juice and some fresh fruit. Only the best for my girls.-_

_- At what time did you wake up? It's too early for this feast… Not that I'm complaining, you know? -_ Jordan is really impressed. There is too much to eat for the two of them. And yet, another thing draws her attention; everything is neat and clean, no dirty dishes, a shining kitchen… "Well, this man is really something. Not only a charming, good-looking one, but… industrious?"

_- So, aren't you mad at me 'cause I went to see __Alissa? -_ asks Jordan

_- I was yesterday__… but there's no use in that. Everything went all right, you did get trough her. She confided in you. Considering all of this, and that you are not having problems with that, I'd rather say that I'm proud of you.-_

_- Wow, proud of me… that is something, man.-_

_- Ok, let's eat. __We have a crime to solve today.-_


	6. Chapter 6

My** acknowledgements **to** Amélie** for her time and kind suggestions.

Thanks to **Amelia Bianca Black** and **BugFan4Ever **for let me know that they are enjoying my story. And thanks to everybody else who is reading it. I'm having a good time. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter six. **Secrets, Confessions and Realizations.**

Woody is by the women's restroom door at the Morgue, he keeps pacing up and down until Lily comes out.

-_How is she, Lily? Is everything all right? Why isn't she coming out?_ – He speaks so fast that Lily frowns and tries to understand what he is saying.

_- Don't worry, Woody, some morning sickness, that's all. I had quite a __lot with Maddie. - _Woody isn't in the least calmed, so Lily rubs his arm in reassuring way.

_- Morning sickness? She hasn't had morning sickness. Why is she having morning sickness now? -_ This is not working, not until Jordan comes out and shows him that she is fine. Lily can only smile, amused.

_- Well, Woody, sometimes you have it, and sometimes you don't…_ -

_- Whoa, I don't want to have anything to do with eggs anymore! I'm telling you Woods… no more omelets… No eggs... I don't think I'd like bread since it's made with eggs…-_ Jordan comes out, a little pale and disgusted. She rubs her face with a paper towel and pats Woody's shoulder then.

- _No, I promise, I won't do it again._ - He's relieved and gently hugs her. - _Well, I have to go to talk to Jeffrey, I need a warrant and I don't have any good evidence yet… the fingerprints? Didn't match… Will you be OK? _- He tenderly kisses Jordan's forehead and she nods.

- _Yes, don't worry. Some slicing and dicing and everything will be under control. You go._ – She kisses his cheek and palms his butt. Lily giggles at this affection showing, this is not Jordan-like. "At least not in public" she thinks. Woody walks away and disappears behind the elevator doors.

- _Lily, I need to talk to you. I need a favor. _- Jordan says to her friend, making sure Woody isn't there any more. Lily looks suspiciously at her and raises an eyebrow.

- _I hope this has nothing to do with the Jaime's case, 'cause if it's what I think it is…-_ Lily shakes her head and sighs. Jordan is puzzled and frowns.

- _What, Lily? It doesn't have to do… well, kind of like, yes, it does. -_ She voices her thoughts out loud while she answers.

- _Oh no! Jordan, I thought, after all this time… and since you had all those crises… and, you know, Max is almost left alone… Oh, Jordan!_ – Lily's rambling is senseless to Jordan.

- _What does Max have to do with it? Lily, you don't know what this favor is about… I don't know what you think… Aahhh!-_ Suddenly, Jordan seems to understand.- _Lily, this is kind of touchy, let's go to my office to talk._- and Jordan pushes her friend, motioning her to walk while she looks around.

* * *

Both women arrive to Jordan's office, where there's a man standing at the door. He's looking around in search of somebody to help him, or so it seems.

- _Excuse me ma'am… Do you know where Dr. Cavanaugh's office is?_ – He asks them.

_- I'm Dr. Cavanaugh. How can I help you?_ – Jordan addresses the man, a little bit annoyed at this sudden development.

- _I've been told that you went to visit my daughter yesterday…-_ answers the man.

- _Are you Alissa's father… uhmm_. - She is trying to remember- _Mr. Santiago?_

- _Yes ma'am._ - Lily stands quietly by Jordan's side.

- _Lily, I'll talk to you later, all right?-_

- _Yes, don't worry. Maybe at lunch? -_ She glances at Jordan, who nods. Lily leaves from where they came from.

- _Mr. Santiago, could you please follow me to the conference room so that we can talk? -_ And Jordan shows the way to the man.

- _Dr. Cavanaugh, I went to Mrs. Riddle's place to visit my daughters_. - He informs Jordan while they walk the hallway. – _Alissa didn't want to tell me what happened with… with her mom…- _They enter the conference room_. - But she told me you were there yesterday and that you knew what happened._ - They both sit down, facing each other across the table_._ Jordan evaluates the situation.

_- Well, Mr. Santiago, what do you exactly want to know?-_

- _Did Alissa see when they… when her mom was murdered?_ – says the man, struggling with the words.

- _She says she did, yes. -_ And the man lifts his face up, closing his dark eyes, in an attempt to hold the tears that are threatening to escape. One of his hands is on his forehead, the other one on the table.

- _And who was_ …_? _– His voice is hoarse.

- _That is something we're trying to establish, from what she said and from what we know. We don't know anything for sure yet.-_

_-I went to visit Miranda that morning…-_ The words come out as a sad whisper.- _I mean… earlier that…-_

_-You did? –_ Now Jordan is surprised.

- _I went to ask her to give me my daughters_. - He sighs and then he raises one hand to his chin, his face has a worried, sad expression.- _but…_ - He shakes his head. - _You see?_ – He swallows and pauses. - _I left them when Luisa had just been born… back then? I didn't know what to do with my life… I was very confused… I had lost my job… I was very young and I already had two daughters and a … -_ He closes his eyes again and rests his head in his left hand. – _I came back last year, and Miranda… she… well, she was with somebody else… Raymond._ - He tenses. - _He's one sick bastard. -_ He gets heated. – _I was furious at him… and at Miranda for what she was letting him do to her children, to my daughters… -_

-_So furious that you killed her?_ –asks Jordan.

- No_! … I mean No! … I wanted my daughters out of danger, out of his reach…_ - he is clenching his teeth – _And then, Miranda dumped him, so I thought that it was finished, but…_- he chuckles _– She had to get engaged with someone just like Raymond… and it was going to happen all over again… -_ He pauses again. - _I went that morning to take my daughters but Miranda got hysterical and told me I had no chance 'cause I had left and she was not going to let that happen and… But she did let them beat her children, my Alissa and my Luisa…_ - He's angry. _– Luisa wasn't there that morning, but Alissa was, and I was going to take her with me, but then this Damian guy arrived and Miranda threw me out of her apartment… I had nothing left to do, so, I left… I didn't kill Miranda, I couldn't do it even if I were mad at her… she… she was the mother of my daughters, and I did love her, even though she didn't…-_

_- Do you know this Damian?_

_- I saw him twice, the last time was that morning. I don't know his last name or where he lives, though -_

_- Mr. Santiago, you'll have to go to the police to give your statement, and one more thing, could you let me take your fingerprints? –_

* * *

_- Are you telling me that the fingerprints found on the knife are neither from Mr. Harris nor from Mr. Santiago? –_ Says Jordan, finding this fact obvious in her mind.

_- Are we looking at another phantom fingerprint, love? – _asks a worried Nigel.

- _What? I'll pretend I didn't hear that, OK?_ – Replies Jordan irritated. – _What we are looking at is a fingerprint that belongs to a man that doesn't appear in the base. Any suggestion?_ –

- _Someone that hasn't committed a felony, doesn't have a social security number, no birth certificate, nothing._ - Jordan is assessing his words. - _A bloody phantom fingerprint indeed.-_

- _No, Nige, a fingerprint from a phantom named Damian. -_ Her face is triumphant.


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for the reviews to **Amelia Bianca Black**, **SCS7900** and **BugFan4ever**. As always, thanks to **Amélie** for her help. Thanks to whoever is reading this story, and I would like to know if you are enjoying it, so, please let me know. Here it is. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 7: **The Lightning**

Woody swings the trace doors and finds Nigel and Bug inside. He's carrying a big bag and rests it on a table for evidence. Bug and Nigel are discussing something that Woody doesn't understand; he seems confused and just follows one argument after another with a funny face.

-_The electric current that a lightening carries is over forty kiloamperes, and the energy is around five hundred megajules… Mmmhh, let's say… an electric power of about fifty terawatts. The lightning heats the nearby air to about eighteen thousand Fahrenheit degrees nearly instantly, which is almost twice the temperature of the Sun's surface. The air around where the lightning strikes is the hottest place on earth. So, you're telling me that the man didn't die because of the electric energy, neither the voltage of the bolt nor the heat, but of a brain damage?_ - Nigel relates animatedly

- _When_ _a lightening strikes a victim it may happen that the death is delayed until a few days later if he is resuscitated but has suffered the irreversible brain damage_. – answers Bug

- _Haa! So you are saying that __**he was killed**__ actually __**by the lightening**_ – says Nigel.

- _What I'm saying is that he didn't die of a heart attack, but of the aftermath of it, __** of brain damage**_. - Retorts an irritated Bug

- _What do you think mate? -_ Nigel asks for Woody's opinion.

-_ I_ _think that if you are struck by a lightning and you survive, and after that you die, then the kiloamperes or mega or tera whatever of it don't matter._ - Says the amused detective.

-_Ok, that sums it all, I think._ - concludes Nigel in an ironic tone. – _So, what brings you to this place, Woodrow?_

-_Ah, yeah_…- as if he has forgotten why he came there in the first place. _- I finally got a warrant to search Raymond's apartment. I found one neighbor that placed him at Miranda´s place around the time of the murder. I retrieved this…-_ And he extracts a clean shirt from the bag. - _It was covered in blood the day before. He cleaned the shirt, I don't know if you could do anything with it…_- Woody utters hopefully.

- _Blood is rather difficult to clean from clothes; it depends on which chemical you use. Common soap is not very effective, but if you use other things, like bleach or peroxide-based formulas, it could destroy any evidence we would be able to get…but we could probe for mitochondrial DNA if this is the case…, PCR for degraded biological material. However, it could last a long time_...- Answers Nigel.

- _All right_…- Woody frowns.- _I also got these_ .- and he takes a pair of shoes out of the bag.- _look at this_.- and he shows one of the shoes.- _the sole is covered in blood, I think this could be tested faster…- _

- _But we didn't find shoe prints on the floor… If this blood is from Miranda, it couldn't be placed at the time of the murder_.-

- _Yes, but it can prove that he beat her before that, and maybe I would be able to get a confession_.-

-_ That_ _could work…_- says Nigel-

- _Ok, you do your tests, man, and then call me when it's done. See you later, guys!_ – A little too cheerful Woody leaves.

- _That fellow is rather strange, one day he is like Mr. Hyde, yelling and infuriated by anything, and the other he is like Dr. Jekyll, good-tempered and nice, almost too nice…-_ Comments Nigel to Bug when Woody is out.

* * *

-_Nigel just phoned me and he said that the blood isn't from Miranda but from somebody related to her. I asked to Social Services if any of the children has recently been injured and it turned out that the tiniest, Carl, has a broken nose. Could you come with me to collect some samples for a DNA test? -_ Woody is talking into his office phone, some time in the afternoon.

_- I know it doesn't prove that Raymond killed Miranda, but I'm trying to establish his abusive behavior, maybe it'll force him to confess._ - He responds to whoever is on the other side.

_- I know you said Raymond didn't do it, that it was some Damian guy, but I'm not convinced yet. Would you come with me?_ - He's talking sweetly and rather seductively.

- _Thank you, honey, I knew you would agree._ - He smiles broadly. - _I'll pick you up in ten minutes._

* * *

Jordan and Woody are waiting in a little room for the children to appear. The place is filled with toys and cushions, no chairs in sight.

- _Here they are, Detective Hoyt._ - says a man that is carrying two little boys in his arms. He sets both boys on the ground and presents them. - _This is Danny… say hello, Danny, they are friends._ - utters the man to the bigger boy.

- _Hi_. - says Danny in a very timid voice. He is no older than three years.

- _Hi, Danny_. - Both, Jordan and Woody salute him.

- _And this is Carl_. - The man presents the tiniest boy, around a year and a half old, a baby really. - _Say hi Carl. -_ asks the man in a sweet demand. The boy is scared and doesn't want to answer; he even doesn't lift his eyes from the floor. He has some bruises on his head and arms, and his nose is covered with gauze. He tries to leave the room; there is a limp in his walk.

- _No, Carl, it's all right. These are friends. Right, Danny? -_ The man stops the boy and caresses his cheek, as he tries to get support from the brother. Woody takes a little car from the floor and hides it in one hand. He sits on a cushion, and in a playful voice, he starts to make some engine sounds.

-_Rrrrrrr, Oh! Look what I've found!...-_ and he starts to run the car across the floor, getting close to the boys. - _Rrrrrr_. - he's making stunt car acts, going circles and up, and down. Both boys' attention is drawn to the game and they sit beside Woody. He hands them two more cars and they begin to play with them.

- _Rrrrrr_.- It´s what you can hear.- _Rrrrr_.-

- _You wanna come here_? - Asks Woody to little Carl. Woody is sitting cross-legged and points to his leg as if it could be a chair for the boy. Surprisingly, Carl goes and sits on Woody's legs. _- Rrrrrr. -_ They continue the game. Two or three minutes later, the three boys, two little ones and a very big one, are really immersed in imaginary roads; they crush and make sounds with the cars. Jordan is fascinated with them, "Isn't he the hottest man on earth?" she thinks, smiling widely.

- _Hey, Carl, this lady over there? _- And Woody points to Jordan. – _She_ _wants to play with us. Rrrrr… Wanna play with her?_ - And he beckons Jordan to sit with them. – _She wants to play with your saliva. Would you let her take some of it?_ – And both boys start to spit saliva directing their small faces to Jordan.

* * *

"_It is frightening, the pale woman leaves, and the space gets dark and cold. It's freezing… And then that little boy. Is he Carl? _

_Raymond's son? He has all those injuries. No, his hair is blond, and he has that T shirt with the robot I wanted, he is Calvin… No,_

_ dad! Don't beat him! I can't stand it any more! Why doesn't he stop!... But, why is dad here? It doesn't seem to be my room, _

_everything is different, but it feels to be my room. My dad wants me to take care of Cal, but I can't, I don't know how to use the _

_oven. I'm scared by the matches, they don't light the oven, they are going to burn me. I can't take care of Cal! I don't know how!  
_

_I __can't reach the kitchen cabinets… It's freezing, I want that pale woman to come back, I want her, please!..."_

Jordan is anguished; she is watching Woody's asleep form on the bed, hyperventilating, fighting to reach something, terrified…


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks to my reviewers **Pandorea**, **BugFan4Ever**, **Scubababe91** and **Amelia Bianca Black**. Thanks to **Amélie **for what she knows, and thanks to the ones that are reading this story. You know, reviews always encourage writing and keep the light on. Anyway, It's been an interesting journey trying to explore Woody's psique and I'd like to share it with you. Enjoy!

Note. I don't own the poem at the end, it belongs to Charles C. Finn.

* * *

Chapter 8: **Do you really know him**?

There is a gathering in the lab, Jordan and Nigel are already there, and then Woody enters.

_- Woodrow, I was just informing Jordan what I found on the samples you brought yesterday_.- Woody turns his glance from Nigel to Jordan with a questioning look.

_- And?_

_- The blood from the sole and the sample from little Carl matched. It's his blood… -_answers Jordan.

_- That bastard! I'm gonna get a warrant to interrogate him_.- Woody opens the lab door forcefully and leaves with Jordan on his heels.

- _Hey, Woods wait!_

- _What? -_ He doesn't stop.

_- I don't think he murdered Miranda_…

_- Yes, you don't get tired of conveying that to me!_

_- No, wait, please._

They both collide with Lily in the hallway, she is carrying some folders and they fly from her arms to the floor. Woody has no option but to stop and they all begin to pick the papers up.

_- Sorry, Lily, we didn't see you coming. -_ utters Woody with eagerness in his voice.

_- It's OK…-_ A bewildered Lily answers.

_- Woody, I believe our real suspect is this mysterious Damian, the fingerprints from the knife couldn't be identified in the base. It could only mean one thing_. - Jordan takes advantage of this situation to disclose her point of view.

- _And what could that be?_ – Woody is becoming more anxious.

_- That he is an undocumented immigrant, maybe he is not here in Boston anymore. Mr. Santiago gave us a description and Nigel is working on the sketch on the computer. We will be able to recognize him from that drawing. I also asked Nigel to put an APB on the fingerprint…-_

_- Ok, Jordan, meanwhile, I'm going to get a confession from Raymond_. - He stands up and hurriedly leaves. Lily witnesses this interchange with dazed eyes.

Jordan follows in despair the elusive figure of Woody disappearing behind a corner. They finish collecting the papers and stand up. Jordan turns her attention to Lily.

_-Lily, I may have a problem, I don't know yet._ –Jordan ushers Lily into her office -_Remember the Jaime case?_ – They both enter.

_- Yeah, Jordan, I've been afraid of that favor you were going to ask me._ – Lily shows her reluctance to be there.

_- It's nothing like that, not about me, or I'd rather say, not something just about me-_ She sighs -_ It's Woody… -_ She pauses and fights to find the courage to continue - _I'm very upset with his behavior since this case came in our lives. One day he is furious, and the next he acts as if nothing is happening. I want your opinion… maybe you can help me…- _Jordan is getting angsty.

_- Jordan, you know I'm your friend… and I'm Woody's friend also. If something is bothering you, you can tell me…-_ Lily changes her stance to a more empathic one.

_- First I thought he was mad at me because I went to visit this little girl, Alissa, who witnessed her mother's death, you know, too close to my own experience? He hasn't been that angry since after he got shot. Not a pleasant memory, by the way… But then, out of the blue, he acts sweet, cheery… I don't know, maybe too happy for my own comfort... Besides … he's having nightmares… very anguishing nightmares. He doesn't want to tell me what they're about. He says he's fine and acts as if it's fine, but I don't really believe that… And it doesn't end here… I'm finding it too difficult not to notice that he… he's having an eating disorder… He's not like that. I know him better… the other day he started to cook this and that, and we ended with a mountain of food. He ate almost everything in a blink… and then he got stressed and went out to run a marathon… after that, he almost hasn't been eating_… - She pauses again, Lily is assessing the speech and gets a worried expression – _One more thing, I don't know if this is something to be considered, but… he's always been, how should I say? More organized than me? He is actually the one who cleans the house… I didn't bother to discourage him from doing so since I don't like the job, but lately he's become anally clean. I begin to feel suffocated... I wonder if this behavior is related to what is happening with the case, or if it has to be connected with his relation with me. Or even worse, does it have something to do with us having a baby? I'm going nuts! I don't know what to do…_

_-I'd say it's all of that… I'm only guessing, but… What is what you can relate with the case, with you, with the baby and with his own history… Let's put it into words… He's obsessed with the idea that Raymond is the killer although it is rather obvious that Damian, as you pointed out, is the real suspect… You and your baby-to-be-born are his own family, and the relationships between families is what this case is about… and he… what do you know about him that can help us?_

_- He's always been extremely attached to cases that involve children. You know I do have the same problem… but lately, I remember… we had this case of a father that didn't want to let go of his wife and children and decided on killing them all, including himself. It was pretty disturbing, the charred remains of them in a trunk that he exploded… There were two little boys… and afterwards he began to get angry with people involved in the investigation… He had a nightmare then… and he told me one fact about his childhood; about his father being drunk and having a car accident with him and little Cal, after his mother died. It all was triggered by he and Cal wanting their mother, and his dad became irate… they were going to the cemetery… He said something… he said that they should have taken them away from him... his dad was unintentionally abusive_… - She pauses and shakes her head - _I thought we have left it behind… He was upset at the mother because he identified her with his own… Woody's mother died of breast cancer after Cal was born. She didn't get the treatment on time 'cause they found out about the illness when she was already pregnant and she didn't want to risk her baby… Woody has always felt responsible for not being able to save her… How could he? He was only four when she died… Could this be the case again?_

_- Wow! Jordan, why didn't I know any of this? It seems that Woody has had his own share of problems and he doesn't let anybody to know about them. He keeps everything for himself and goes around acting strong and happy, as his whole life were kind of Martha Stewart's magazine_… - Lily is trying to absorb all this _- I don't know, I'd rather say it has to do with Raymond and how he abuses his boys… Could it be that Woody isn't disclosing everything that happened between him and his father? Do you know anything more about his childhood?_

_- He told me once that he was a chubby little kid who stammered._ – "Oh God, that sounds plain lame!" She is remorseful for not knowing much more about him. Wasn't he her friend, her lover, her most beloved person? Wasn't she in love with him? Why didn't she know him better? "It's a little difficult when your life philosophy is "don't ask, don't tell." Remember? I'm not that person anymore, am I?"

They become quiet for a while, each woman in her own mind.

_- Jordan, I think you're not gonna like this, but you've got to believe that even though we've known him for years, maybe he's not the person he pretends for us to be. Maybe he doesn't even know… This recent behavior is very likely to be portrayed in people who develop an avoidance defense mechanism against something really upsetting. I'd say… something that happened in his childhood and is connected with his father… and his mother's death… Something that is being revealed because of these abused children and his own recognition of a future father role… Could it be that he was an abused child? … I_ _mean, not just once_ _unintentionally abused_, _but it was a real trend? _- Lily is being extremely cautious with her words, not wanting to distress her very disturbed friend even more.

* * *

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,

with a facade of assurance without

and a trembling child within.

So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,

and my life becomes a front.

I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.

I tell you everything that's really nothing,

and nothing of what's everything,

of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine

do not be fooled by what I'm saying.

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,

what I'd like to be able to say,

what for survival I need to say,

but what I can't say.

Fragment of **Please Hear What I'm Not Saying **by **Charles C. Finn**

You can find the complete version at: www slash poetrybycharlescfinn dot com slash pleasehear.html

* * *

The case and facts presented here about Woody's childhood are taken from "**Father Knows Best**" by **Madambeth **and **NCCJFAN**, **VS7,** Episode 26. Btw, one of my favorites of VS7. You can find it at: www slash digitcorp dot com slash cjvs7/episode26.php


	9. Chapter 9

First is first, **Amélie** you're such an impelling force. I have to thank you not only for your help, but for all the things I've learned writing this story. So, Thank You!

I'm also grateful that **ruth609**, **Scubababe91**, **traceyh**, **BugFan4Ever** and **Amelia Bianca Black** have been so kind to write a review. It's always gratifying to know that someone is enjoying your work. And if you are reading this story but haven't left a review, thanks to you too. Here it is. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 9: **The Hit.**

- _Jordan, we've located him!_ - comes a frantic Nigel across the hallway to Jordan's office. There he finds Jordan and Lily talking about something over health care magazines. There are plenty of those magazines on Jordan's desk, as well as many pamphlets about child welfare information, children abuse and Adult Survivors of Child Abuse? He's forgetting his previous urgency, and being as he is, hunts for more details.

-_What's this for, love?_ –. He lifts the pamphlet and begins leafing trough it, some information on ASCA organization coming in view.

- _Some research that Lily is doing on the Jaime's case…_ - Jordan glances at Lily, expecting her to keep hidden the real reason of those implements.

_- And who do you think would need this?_ – He is waving the brochure. Jordan decides this is not the moment for this conversation to happen and changes the subject.

-_Who is him?_

- _What?_ – Spits out a confused Nigel at this sudden inquiry.

_- The one that we've located… Are you talking about the fingerprint?!_ – And, suddenly, Jordan becomes fully alert and excited.

- _Oh, yes!!_ – He remembers his prior rush. - _They sent us a report on one guy arrested for robbing a convenience store in Pasco, on the borderline with Canada. The fingerprint matched!_

_- We need Woody._ - She digs up her cell and dials. After a moment, she is becoming frustrated. – _He's out of reach. OK, let's go._ - She impels Nigel to the door. _- We have to get in touch with Pasco's police. Come!_ – As long as Nigel's legs are, he can't keep Jordan's pace.

* * *

Woody is resting his back on the interrogation room wall, expecting the two men to come inside. One of these guys is Raymond Harris, and the other is a man in a suit and carrying a briefcase, his lawyer. After them, comes Jeffrey in a rush and stops, catching his breath.

_- Mr. Harris, Mr. Ferguson, I'm the DA that is handling Miranda Jaime's death investigation. I think you have already met Detective Hoyt_. - Jeffrey directs his glance to Woody and back to them, expecting an answer.

_- Yes, I met him. -_ says Raymond, in his usual menacing posture.

_-Thank you for coming at our request._ - They stand awkwardly for a moment, and then Jeffrey invites them to sit. - _Please, sit._

Woody approaches and keeps standing beside Jeffrey, in front of the other two men.

_- Mr. Harris, we have many hospital reports of some "accidents" that occurred to your family when you lived together. These "accidents" seem to have come to an end when you left. That is…- _Woody is talking confidently, showing that he is in control. - s_ome time a year ago?_

_- What do you want to know, Detective? Such facts don't have anything to do with the matter that brought us here._ – Mr. Ferguson, Raymond's lawyer, addresses Woody.

_- We know that Mr. Harris used to beat his family pretty bad, even tough we don't have any police report about these incidents, we have witnesses…_ - Woody glares at the lawyer and then draws his glare to Raymond.

_- And that doesn't have a thing to do with Mrs. Jaime murder. As you said, Mr. Harris wasn't living with them, and you don't have any solid proof of those facts you're trying to pin on my client -_ Mr. Ferguson is lecturing again.

_- But we have witnesses that placed him at her apartment the morning she was killed. And we were able to establish his abusive behavior… -_ Points Jeffery.

_- Is this evidence that can be related to the murder?_ – asks Mr. Ferguson.

- _This is the evidence that indicates Mr. Harris beat his family, not even caring about hurting a baby. -_ Answers Woody, becoming angry at the memory. _– And it also suggests that things could have gotten out of control that morning._

_- Do you have any direct question for my client? Or are we keeping this inquiry on a speculative level? Because I know Mrs. Jaime was stabbed and you weren't able to find any evidence that associate Mr. Harris with the murder weapon_– Indicates the lawyer to Jeffrey.

_- We_ – Starts Jeffrey, but Woody abruptly interrupts him.

_- We want to know if this bastard killed Miranda Jaime in front of her children in a beating show that got out of control!-_ Shouts the detective, losing all the patience he had left.

_- Hoyt!_ –exclaims Jeffrey in an attempt to keep the detective under control, but meanwhile, Raymond jerks from his seat and walks to the door.

_- I think that's all we have to do with…_ - The lawyer is starting to leave, too, but in a sudden rush, Woody reaches for Raymond at the door.

-_You son of a bitch! –_ Woody wrenches the big man's shoulder, forcing him to turn. Raymond is taken by surprise, so he doesn't react immediately. Woody is infuriated and, in a blast of adrenaline, he punches Raymond's face with so much force that the man falls to the floor. He starts to bleed from the mouth and tries to reincorporate. In the meantime, Jeffrey tries to hold Woody's arms, but there is too big a difference in strength between them, so he starts to yell to the officers outside the room for help.

* * *

Nigel and Jordan are arriving at the precinct, there's some kind of commotion; police officers are running, somebody is screaming. Seely approaches and stops them as to keep them away from the event; he seems concerned, which is rather strange since he is Seely. "He doesn't usually care," thinks Jordan.

- _What? What is it?_ - She asks panicky.

As he is about to answer, Raymond appears in front of them, beaten and bleeding, followed by his lawyer and Jeffrey. Jeffrey stops and, with a very worried expression, says to Jordan:

- _Woody has just hit the suspect; they're taking him to jail.-_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:** Good Behavior**

Woody is in jail, isolated since he, being a cop, wouldn't be welcome in an ordinary cell. He is sitting on a bench, with his head between his hands and his elbows on his knees.

Jordan approaches from behind the cell, glancing at him in a sad, loving way.

-_Hey._ - utters Jordan. Woody stretches and draws his attention to her.

- _Hey, Jo_. - He answers reluctantly. His shame and his confused state of mind are palpable. He stands, nonetheless, and moves toward the cell bars… and Jordan.

- _I've paid the bail; they're coming to get you out of here._ - Says Jordan, looking intensely at him.

_- It seems that, in the end, I'm the one who's a handful of trouble. I didn't mean to disturb you…- _

_- Sssh, don't_…- Jordan requests him to be silent and takes one of his hands with hers, over a cell bar. - _I love you…_ - A tear escapes her eye – _You're forgetting I've been there myself, and you were always there for me…_

He squeezes her hand, holding it tight, and fights to control himself, words can't find their way out. After a long moment that seems ages, he kisses the small part of her hand that is inside the cell.

_- I love you too._

* * *

As Woody was removed from the case, Seely was the lucky one who got it. Lucky because it was almost finished and because they had already nailed the killer, the mysterious Damian. Although, it meant working with Jordan, it could be tolerated since she was the one who had found the right suspect and she handled the witness, little Alissa, amazingly well The only major thing left was receiving the killer, who was being delivered by Pasco's police, and finding out if they could get a motive for the murder. Though it didn't really matter since they knew that evidence and witnesses showed him as guilty, it was always better to know why somebody did something as horrible as killing his pregnant girlfriend and leaving behind six children without a mother. They had also to release the kids to their fathers and tutors, as none of them were involved in the crime, it seemed such a piece of cake. Well, Seely thought he was lucky, he didn't suspect the real reason behind the good-behaving Jordan…

* * *

- _You know, Cavanaugh, things in the Morgue have improved._ - says Seely, who is coming to catch up with her along the hallway.

- _And why is that?-_

_- Because I have no longer to deal with Dr. Macy, he's to busy laboring his admission to heaven with Mrs. Walcott._

- _Oh! You're gonna love Kate!_ - "Sweet jerk-phobic Kate" thinks Jordan, and she smirks. - _Are you lacking good company?_

- _If I were looking for good company I'd be looking somewhere else._ - Answers the immutable detective. _- I'm here to discuss some things left from the Jaime case_. - They continue walking the hallway to wherever Jordan is going.

- _Ok, shoot, what do you want to talk about?-_

- _Do you have any clue about Damian's twisted reasons for killing his girlfriend? I'm gonna question him today and I want to know where to start.-_

- _Well, first of all, you might want to know that Miranda was pregnant with his child. DNA confirmed his paternity. Secondly, as he was pregnant, it may happen that she might wanted some kind of support, I mean, economically, and maybe threatened him with something… he was an illegal immigrant, maybe she threatened him with going to Immigration to coerce him to help. It could have easily gotten out of control, since it seems Miranda had a soft spot for abusive partners. The only one who didn't treat her that way was Mr. Santiago, but he had left her… maybe that was the beginning of the fall… Since then, she picked up scum, one after another… _- Jordan seems to become oblivious of Seely's presence as she is reflecting on Miranda's life.

- _How is Hoyt_? – asks Seely, matter-of-factly. "Again, is he being concerned? Maybe Woody isn't the only one with a façade" Jordan stops and stares at him.

- _As you know, he's suspended. For someone like him that is huge. He's not allowed to come back before some good time on a shrink's couch, and community service…_ -

- _All right, Cavanaugh, one more thing. Tomorrow we're gonna release Miranda's children. I had no luck in finding two of the fathers, but I've got tutors. George is going with his grandmother, the mother of the missing father; and Juan with a cousin of Miranda's, a Mrs. Jerkins; this last kid's father doesn't even know that he has a son.-_

- _What about Carl and Danny? Are you leaving them with Raymond_? - Asks Jordan alarmed.

- _Well, yeah… he is the father and he wants them…-_

- _Are you insane?!_ – Shouts Jordan _– That's the last thing I'm gonna let happen! Got it?_

"This was going right. What the hell...?" Thinks Seely, disconcerted.


	11. Chapter 11

Hey everybody! Here is my new chapter... If you find this interesting, please let me know. If you don't like it, let me know too. I'm craving for some interaction. My dear Amélie is busy at school and I already miss her...

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 11: **Why are you doing this?**

Jordan and Jeffrey are in the court hallway, discussing something heatedly. Seely is also there, but he is rather quiet. People are coming past them; it's early in the morning.

- _Jeffrey, you've got to help those babies, they're defenseless. You already know how abusive Raymond can be. You saw the injuries on Carl_… - She's begging; it's not her style, yet this case is worth it.

-_Yes Jordan, I'm aware of that, but if we refuse to give Raymond his children, they will be entering foster care services; we'll need much more evidence to establish a good case against him. Between him, who is free, and foster caring, which is expensive, the choice is evident_. - Jeffrey answers.

_- Maybe you don't need to involve foster care… Katlin Jerkins is already taking a boy; she is Miranda's cousin…-_

_- What you're suggesting is maybe more difficult. In cases where we have a fight for child custody and the father is abusive, the mother wins. That is, if there is plenty of evidence for the abusive behavior, which is fairly uncommon since the mother is scared and rarely goes to the police or declares at the hospital what is the source of the injuries present on the victim. They usually lie. In this case, we don't have any police statement, nor hospital report that indicates that Raymond did hurt his children. What we have is circumstantial evidence that can relate him with the injuries, and some witnesses. And our strongest witness is Mrs. Jerkins. She can't be both a witness and the demanding party.-_

_- But we have their siblings, they were there, too… And Mr. Santiago, he could help… He was already fighting for custody because of Raymond…-_

_- I don't know, Jordan, this is delicate… We would have to work hard_… - He is about to give in.

_- Come on, Jeffrey, what we have to do is to act fast, you know they are releasing the children today… We can't let Raymond take them_. - She knows she is about to win and is on edge.

_- Why are you doing this? Is this some kind of crusade for someone you know and care for_? - He doesn't want to give up yet.

_- If you're trying to imply that I'm doing this for Woody_…- She stares at him. - _I'm doing this 'cause it is the right thing to do. 'Cause Miranda wouldn't want Raymond to abuse her boys anymore. She can't do that now, but I can, and I will_…- She closes her eyes and sighs.- _Maybe I'm doing this for Woody, too, so what?-_

_- Ok, I don't know why I'm doing this… the last time we went to court with a case lacking evidence like this we were in lots of trouble convincing the judge, and I know they could have easily charged you for trespassing then…- _

_- All right, you said it'd take a lot of work, let's work._ - And she pulls Jeffrey and Seely by their arms. "Damn it! I'm a homicide detective. How did I end up here?" Thinks Seely as he walks.

* * *

Later that day, Jordan is in her office. She is staring at the phone, thoughtfully. She finally seems to have made a decision and grabs the phone. She dials.

_- Cal? Hi…- _

_- Yes, it's Jordan. - _She says

_- Not alright… nobody is hurt, I mean physically hurt… but it looks like we have a problem – _She closes her eyes and sighs.

_- You know, that's why I'm having a baby. But I didn't call you to discuss my sex life… -_ She is a little annoyed.

_- I don't want to know about your sex life, either! – _"Only Cal would behave that way."

_- I want to ask you something…-_ She speaks carefully.

_- Yes it's about Woody, but he doesn't want to tell me. Or maybe he can't…-_ She answers.

_- Yes, you can. You know the answer too.-_

_- Stop it, Cal! This is serious! -_ She turns edgy because of his playful mood.

_- You have to promise me you'll tell the truth. -_ She seems satisfied with his answer and carries on.

_- Ok, here it goes. Ready? - _A second of suspense…

_- Did your father abuse you when you were kids? I mean, I don't know… did he beat you? –_ A very long silence is what she gets.

_- Cal, are you still there?_ -

* * *

At their apartment, Woody and Jordan are sitting on the couch, watching TV. Woody is holding Jordan lovingly with one arm. All of a sudden, she grabs the remote and turns the TV off. Woody doesn't quite notice the change of things.

- _What? Didn't you like it?_ – Finally says as he realizes the TV is off.

_- I wasn't paying attention; I've been waiting for the right moment to talk to you. It doesn't seem to come, so any moment is as good as other…_

_- What, Jordan? I don't want to discuss it yet_. - He pulls his arm away from her.

- _So when, Woody? We'll have to talk someday, why not now?_

- _Because._ – His response is adamant.

_- I can't let you go on like that_…- Jordan takes a moment to regroup, and persists. -_ You know? Katlin, Miranda's cousin, is fighting for custody of Carl and Danny.-_

_- It seems like the right thing to do._

_-Yes, it is. We don't want Raymond anywhere near his kids_…- Woody becomes silent. Jordan grabs his hand and as he doesn't free it, she continues.

_- I called Cal_. - She says in a soft manner.

- _Why? What does he have to do with it?_ – And he is now trying to take his hand away, but she doesn't let him.

_- I know Woody, I know everything!_ - He is puzzled.

_-Would you like to enlighten me, I don't know what you're talking about._

_- I always thought that you were like a father to Cal, I was wrong._ - Says Jordan sorrowfully.

_- What do you…?_

_- You're his mother figure and his father figure as well_. - She keeps on talking.

_- I don't understand, you're not making sense_… - He's still dazed.

_- You were only a little boy and you were already taking care of your baby brother.-_

_- You knew that, you knew my mom died when I was four.-_

_- What I didn't know was that you were all alone. I thought you went to live with some family, or maybe an aunt was going to take care of you. I didn't imagine you were literally alone. I didn't know that your father wasn't abusive just once, either. It was happening during your entire childhood. -_ Woody pulls his hand forcefully and stands up.

_- I don't know what Cal told you, it wasn't anything like that. My father loved us!_ - He is finding it difficult to breath.

- _Calm down, please…-_ Jordan approaches him and makes an effort to reassure him.

_- That is an infamous lie, Jordan. My dad was a good man_…- He is almost begging.

_- Woody, Cal told me that your dad used to beat him really hard when he was a child, and that you were always trying to smooth things out. He told me you stood some strikes too. But mostly, you were left to cure his injures, to feed him, to take care of him. It was not your_ _call; I can't imagine… It must have been terrifying for you, all that responsibility on you little shoulders. Maybe your dad did love you, but he was negligent, his own pain over his dead wife was not an excuse for what he did to you, to Cal and you_. - Woody became quiet. - _Even if you don't want to admit it, it's logical after all, Cal's problems with drugs, alcohol, gambling… and you aiming to be the rescuer. If you couldn't save Cal, you had to save somebody, anybody, me…-_ She's looking for a reaction and can't see anything. Woody is petrified. - _And every time you got close to loving someone, you couldn't deal with it and you'd ran away fast. It only makes sense – how we ended up together: running away, we both met on the other side, earth is round, you know? It was bound to happen_…- She attempts to lighten things as Woody appears to be distant, almost not himself. Suddenly, he turns to the door, and as he is leaving, says:

- _I'm going for a walk. Don't worry, I'll come back later. I always do.-_

* * *

_­­­­­­­­­­­­_ Music playing:

_You landed in my life_

_Like a new and brighter light_

_That made all my past seem in the shadow_

_I always used to believe_

_That beauty was skin deep_

_But I need a new word to describe you_

_And the time that it took to take down the wall_

_Was the time that it took for me to fall_

_Hopelessly weak_

_No one can take you away from me now_

_Don't worry if they take me away_

_No one can take you away from me now_

_Don't matter how long we have to wait…_

Fragment of** "No One Can" **by **Marillion** in the album "_**Made Again**_"


	12. Chapter 12

Ok people, this is almost the last chapter...

Thanks to all my reviewers and to the ones that are enjoying this story as well. I tell you I had a very good time.

* * *

Chapter 12: **Another chilly Sunday morning **

This is one chilly Sunday morning in Boston. A timid ray of sunshine is passing trough the window and reflecting from the crystal wall. He's not there, that's the only coherent thought that she can have this early. He's not there and his side of the bed is cold, but his essence lingers trough the quiet room. "Remember, Jordan, he came back yesterday, as he said. Where is he now?" In her still confused sleepy mind, she wonders if he is in the kitchen… again. "Oh, not again! We can't keep going like that…" But yet, there is not a noise, not a smell of food, not single evidence of another human being there. And then she notices on his pillow "a note?" Her heart pumps fast, and suddenly, she's fully awake. She reads slowly, and so far, doesn't comprehend, it says: "_I'm going to clear my mind_".

* * *

Woody is sitting on a bench at Saint Inez. It seems that he is praying. Then, he stands and walks to the altar, where the candles are. He lights one, and remains quiet for a while. Somebody is approaching at his back.

- _Woody, this is too early for anybody being awake_. - This kind of a welcome is said by a man which now is tapping Woody's back. Woody turns his head in surprise.

- _Father Paul…_ -

- _What, Woody, you look troubled. Is anything wrong with Jordan?_ – The priest asks, alarmed.

_- No, no… she is fine, I hope… Well, she could be doing better without me_…- answers Woody, trying to sound reassuringly, in which he fails.

_- What do you mean? Did you have a fight?_

- _Not a fight, I'd rather say that she is now aware of the kind of man that I am_- Woody is becoming anguished.

_- And, if I may ask you, what kind of man are you that Jordan didn't know?-_

_- The one I don't want to be… the one she doesn't need…-_

_- Woody… You are really disturbed… I don't think…-_

_- Father, could I confess?-_

_- Certainly, come, let's sit._ - And he leads him to a bench. Both men sit.

- _Forgive me, father, for I have sinned_. - Woody starts, but can't continue. After a moment, he finds some courage and speaks. - _I've made a huge mistake. I've mixed my life with a case. They've suspended me… I'm nothing but a failure_.-

- _Where did you go wrong?_

- _Well… this woman, Miranda, was killed in front of her daughter by a piece of…_ - he shakes his head, although he's angry at the memory, he doesn't want to curse in front of a priest_.- The thing is that I couldn't avert my anger from the killer and I wasn't thinking right. Jordan kept reminding me that the suspect was one guy and I became obsessed with another person. At first, it could have easily been one or the other, but evidence kept coming and it was becoming more and more obvious that I was wrong… Although this case hit too close to home with Jordan, she behaved amazingly well. Me, on the other hand…-_

_- What was with this case that perturbed you that much?_

- _I don't know… The victim, I think… she was a young mother; she left six kids motherless… I don't think those kids will be able to overcome this. They all are way too young… She could have been more careful picking her boyfriends, or at least, she could have been more careful not having those children. _- He became aware of what he has just said. _- I know church doesn't allow that kind of thinking, but if you could see those kids… They are going to be split, brothers and sisters with different families, maybe these new families don't know enough about them to… - _he can't finish, he's finding it really difficult to talk.

_- Is this where you mixed your own life with the case? What do this mother and her young children have to do with you?-_

_- I…_ - silence for a long moment_- I think they reminded of me… I'm very upset 'cause since it started, something inside me doesn't feel right… I was angry at Miranda, but who I was really mad at was… my own mother._ - He swallows hard. - _My mother died when I was four, she had cancer and she died 'cause she didn't want to let go of her unborn child… Cal, my brother… I'm upset 'cause I'm angry at my own mom. It's not right… I'm mad 'cause she died… you have to honor your parents… you have to stand up… you have… -_ He's losing it, crying.

- _Maybe, although it happened a long time ago, you hadn't gotten the chance to mourn her death… maybe you're not really mad at her dying, but at what you had to face after that… If you have not overcome that after all this time, it only means you haven't been able to let her go, to let her rest in peace…-_

- _Maybe… -_ he seems absorbed in a memory, his eyes crystalline, frightened, vulnerable …- _after my mom died, my dad lost his mind… for a while… we, Cal and me… didn't know what was going on… It's just a foggy memory, but what I remember is being scared and alone… and my dad's fury… He was always mad, it didn't help that he was drinking pretty heavily… but mostly, he was mad at Cal. I think he was blaming him for her death… I was left to take care of my brother after my dad had… evicted all his anger on him… And after all, I wasn't able to save him… I couldn't save Cal and I couldn't save my dad. He died in my arms… And the worst part is that I felt released. It's not right… I'm a horrible man…-_

_-What do you mean? Did your father beat your brother?-_

_- It could be…-_

_- How it could be?-_

_- Well, I don't really remember…-_

_- Don't or don't want?-_

_- No, father… I don't know… please… don't ask. - _He starts to hyperventilate, and Father Paul grips his shoulders. First he holds him tight, and after Woody finds his breath again, the young priest softly lets him go.

-_That's something you'll have to figure out. I won't ask you anymore about it, but you have to face it 'cause I'm sure that's why you haven't been able to let your mom go… Woody, you're not a failure, I'd rather say you're the best your circumstances let you be, whatever these circumstances are… or were… you're a good man… a very good man. You have to grieve your mother's death, and overcome those things in your past that keep tying you to this enormous guilt… Jordan needs you, as does your child… You have to face it… You certainly can… You'll find strength in your soul, as well as in Jordan's… and in God. You're not alone. - _After a peaceful moment, Father Paul gives Woody the absolution_ - You may go in peace._ -

* * *

- _Honey, I'm home?_ - Says Woody in a hopeful tone.

- _Oh, Woody! Where have you been? I was going nuts … I didn't know where you were going to clear your mind…-_ Jordan is hugging him, not wanting to let him go, ever.

- _You thought I left?_ – He's hugging her back, enjoying the force of such a welcome.

_- Me? Nooo.-_ She's keeping her head down, as in an attempt to hide her face.

- _Look up. -_ And he lifts her face up to him. - _Were you crying?_

- _These damn hormones, I'm having trouble with not tearing my heart out because of this splashed fly…-_ And she shows him the declared damn, sad… fly.

_- Aha… Mmmh… Seems I can't keep myself from getting you distressed… I know I have told you this before, but I didn't mean to disturb you_. - And suddenly, his face is sunny and his eyes sparkle – _I went to see your former boyfriend, you know?_

_- What do you mean?_ - "He is losing it, JD?" Woody can read her confusion on her face, and it makes him smile broadly.

- _Father Paul?_ - Says Woody and laughs.

_-Oh!- _

- _It is really amazing what a good talk with someone who knows you that well can do to one's mood…-_

_- You don't mean you were talking about me…-_

_- And what else could it be?_ - He kisses her before she can reply, and they lose themselves in more kisses; the angst, the fly and the former boyfriends suddenly forgotten.

* * *

Background music (keep it low, because **The Epilogue** is coming).

_I did my best to notice_

_When the call came down the line._

_Up to the platform of surrender_

_I was broke but I was kind._

_And sometimes I get nervous_

_When I see an open door._

_Close your eyes,_

_Clear your heart,_

_Cut the cord._

_Are we human?_

_Or are we dancer?_

_My sign is vital, my hands are cold._

_And I'm on my knees_

_Looking for the answer;_

_Are we human?_

_Or are we dancer?.._

Fragment of** "Human**" by **The Killers, **from the album_** Day and Age**_ (2008)

Since the album hasn't been released and I found different versions of it, the lyrics may be a little changed (it's what I hear), sorry. But it's so great…


	13. Epilogue

It seems it is the end...

I would like to especially thank to **Amelia Bianca Black **for being so enthusiastic and helping me checking the script.

I would like to thank all my reviewers. If you write, you know a review is like food for the soul; if you don't, your review is much more appreciated since it's done because you want to.

I would like to thank also to the people that was following my story, and I hope you've found it interesting. It was really exciting that some of you put me on your favorites, I'm so grateful. I hadn´t written anything like this before (and less in English), and I tell you, I had fun! I'm not sad because there is another story on works...

Enjoy!

* * *

**Epilogue**

It seems that Jordan can't keep herself away from trouble. She worked so hard for Katlin to get the custody of the boys, dragging into her quest a bewildered Jeffrey and a reluctant Seely, but the day came when they were losing the case. What appears clearly obvious to some people is rather different to others. Jordan felt the urge to act, so she acted. She blamed it on hormones, but we know better. She went to Raymond's place and threatened him, it was not only a custody case anymore, she wanted him in jail. You may think this giant, ugly man felt as if a bee was bothering him, and with a snatch he would have been able to make the trouble disappear, but… Jordan can be so persuasive sometimes. However, she didn´t get away without a –_ bitch_- and an - _ass…_- from this… guy. In the end, Carl and Danny went to live with Katlin, and joined their brother Juan. Though Katlin was really happy, she also felt the huge, sudden responsibility of rising three children by herself. Woody didn´t get involved in the trial but once – when he had to give a statement about his findings, although he was following the event fairly close. Unfortunately, Raymond didn´t go to jail, the evidence weren't that strong. Had Miranda gone to the police or said the real reason of all their unbelievable "accidents", maybe they would have had him convicted. But, you know, there are no such things as "if", so…

Alissa and Luisa were finally able to go with their father, Mr. Santiago, who is making a real effort to pay his dues to his daughters, not only economical but emotional, as well. They are in touch with Katlin and with their brothers. The only one who's not in the picture is George. His grandma took him to LA. Too much earth between them. As for Damian, he confessed the murder, he didn´t mean it, he was high and she was such a pain in the… He got 30 years.

Woody was requested to go to a psychological treatment, and Jordan made sure that he went to a real shrink this time… you know what I mean. He wouldn't be allowed to come back on duty for good three months, at the end of Jordan's second trimester. Lily's introduced him to a group, the Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA), and as emotional abuse is not considered as strong as sexual or physical abuse, he first felt out of place. But rather quickly he became aware that he did have a problem and, as Father Paul told him, he was not alone. And he made sure that Cal wasn´t, either. He took his brother to join the group. They are doing better now. Healing skin injuries could be a difficult thing, but healing soul is something else. It could last your whole life, but once you're on track, it doesn´t matter how long it takes.

And, as far as Jordan and Woody are concerned, there were ups and there were downs, life as a couple is not that easy, never a fairy tale, but is worth the effort. I don't know if they're having a boy or a girl, they haven´t told me, but I think they know by now. What I do know is that they are together, that they deeply love each other and they are working things out, talking and being honest, in **the new order** of things…

* * *

ASCA is a real organization, you can find information on: _www dot ascasupport dot org/  
_

There are many books about this, for example:

_Soul Survivors_ by J. Patrick Gannon, Ph.D.; _The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Abuse _by Bassie and Davis; _There is a Way Out_ by Richard Yao.


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